Afternoon Pages

Looks like I'm ready for another one of my sporatic entries. The last time I wrote, I was into The First 48. I remember that. That was last year. I cooped myself in the apartment and revelled in my newfound... something. Descriptive words escape me at the moment. Since then, I've gone through (almost) all seasons of Frasier. I can't get through the last of the lot because I've learned the formula for the show, and I grew tired of watching the same scenarios replayed over and over. Right now I'm watching The West Wing which I really enjoy. There's a good pace to it. I can't lie, I do play Bejeweled Blitz sometimes and just listen to what's going on because my attention span is so short these days. For some reason, I always feel like there's something I should be doing and while I'm doing that, I think I should also be doing something else. I only have 3 tabs open on my computer right now, which should tell you that I'm more focused on this blog than, say... Macy's online shopping. I like to window shop online. I look for fierce clothes, add them to my cart, and inevitably remove items after realizing I have nowhere to wear these items. That's okay. I'm looking for things to do on my birthday which is coming up. I kind of want to go shopping for a birthday outfit. Just to make sure everyone knows there's something special going on. $105.99 is too much for a cardigan, right? I thought so, but it's really fierce. It's got studs on the shoulders and Michael Kors made it. For big girls, even. He makes clothes for big girls. Oh, I just had to open another tab because I just remembered Dar Williams is coming to Chicago in March. Maybe I should buy a special outfit for that. I would look for a neo-hippie/gypsy get-up, but even she dresses fierce these days. The last time I saw her, she was wearing leather! Guess what? I just opened another tab because I also remembered Emily Wells is coming in May. It's difficult for me to find good concerts to go to. I thought I might get a ticket for the Rihanna concert, but then I remembered I don't care. I'm sure it would be fun, and I'd love to see A$AP Rocky, but all his songs are about smoking weed and I don't like to know those things about people. I remember when smoking weed was special and you had to hide it and there were all these hidden phrases and secret terms you had to know to even know someone was speaking of it or wanting to get some. He's also really young. It makes me uncomfortable because I think he's so cute. Yes, cute, because he's got a baby face. That's how I know he's young. You know what, maybe I will go. Rihanna is pretty good. I try to not like her, but she's got a lot of good songs. Anyone want to go with? She's coming in .... sorry, I just had to ban Jennifer Lopez from playing on my Slacker Radio. Rihanna is coming March 22nd and if anyone wants to join me, I wouldn't mind spending a little more for better seats than nose bleed. I'm kinda too grown for that now.

I've been working on writing more and I started my return to writing morning pages. Three pages of ranting about whatever comes to mind. It's cool because it clears my mind of a lot of unnecessary thoughts and helps me focus on what I really need to like doing dishes or remembering I have dreams. I think I accomplished my morning pages assignment with this post.

Is there anything else going on? Guess not. I have to pee. Bye.

Randomonious

I write in this blog sometimes. I took a break from watching a forever marathon of instant stream Netflix: 48 Hours. I watched all the Investigative Discovery shows already. I love that kind of reality television. There's so much suspense, tragedy, and wonder surrounding homicide. I'll keep watching. My favorite cities are Miami (duh!), Memphis, and Harris County. I looked up one for the Chicago area, but the only genre I found was missing persons.

In the meantime, I ordered some new bizness cards... they're really purdy. I didn't mispell any words on them, like I did here. I am excited! When payday comes, art art art art art bitch (Beautiful, Intelligent, Talented, Charismatic, Hellacious) gets working on applying for various summer events and preparing for more creation.

Until then, I have to hear my downstairs neighbor play video games all night and try to hide his weed scent with incense. Nighty night!

New Paintings!!!

I've been on a roll! I've also been featured in one of the coolest blogs online! Take a look at my new work:

"Hard", 2011. 30" X 30" Acrylic on Canvas.

"Soft Winter Morning", 2011. 30" X 30" Acrylic on Canvas.

2011, Here I come...

Whew! 2010 is almost over, and there has been so much to be thankful for this year. In May, I celebrated the ordination of my mother as Deacon in the Episcopal Church. I was given the opportunity to do a little figure modeling, a very freeing experience. I grew at work, and (most importantly) found inspiration this summer to paint again. A lot of progress was made within months and I'm still working...

"Fall Bursts", 2010. 30" X 30" Acrylic on Canvas.



"The Black One", 2010. 30" X 30" Acrylic on Canvas.

In the last two paintings I completed (seen above), I used a couple of new techniques that I was happy to discover. In "Fall Bursts", my initial goal was to present all the different shades of autumn within one piece. As I mapped out my design using a huge fallen leaf found down the street, I began to see more and more lines within each root. Three-ten color field panels turned into more than twenty.

In "The Black One", my process started from the edges of the canvas and circled around and inward. Usually, I find comfort in starting in the center and projecting planes of color outward. I love spectrums. :)

In the coming new year, I plan to expand my color palette. Currently, I'm working on an all-white painting. There will be tints of color, but I want to manipulate the tones and shades of the colors I mix. My inspiration is glistening snow. I want to capture the lusciousness of first fallen snow, piles of iridescent fluffy slush.

With the help of my dear friend, Kelliann Melanie (http://www.kmelanie.com/), I've realized a whole other entity into my art-making will be maintaining a consistent profile on every social networking site. Trying to keep a vast presence on the web will hopefully keep everyone advised on all my newest happenings. I'll be on twitter in the very near future (though, I still don't know exactly how it works) and I'll be working on putting together a luscious media kit to present to galleries and such in the hopes of generating feedback and exposure.

I hope everyone finds themselves safe, healthy, and inspired in the new year. Happy New Year!

Artgasms

It has been awhile since I had my ritual of getting revved up for an art-work day. I'm sitting around listening to Chaka Khan. In a moment I will get up and wonder into the kitchen for some coffee. Then, it's on. I'm moving furniture and laying down the foundations for my next three paintings. Ah! I'm feeling so good about making art again, it thrills me. Literally.


My newest creation, "Summer Sunset", 30" x 30", Acrylic on Canvas. 2010.

It all comes back to The Golden Girls.

Dear Universe,

What exact purpose does an opossum have in this grand world other than to frighten people on their way home in the middle of the night?

Work It Out

Believe it or not, Cracker Barrel is NOT my dream job. Neither is Borders or other numerous places I have been forced to apply to due to the failing economy. Of course, I can't mention their names because those companies might be reading my blog right now and consider this post a "conflict of interest" when viewing my job application for part time sales associate. Woe is me. Yet again.

What amuses me the most about this whole lack of job security thing is the exchange of insincere, cordial, politically-correct, business speak. I try to put on the best show I can in terms of presenting myself as one who is excited and thrilled to be a cashier or stock person or part of a team. I don't understand why the process is so pretentious. You, as an employer, are going to pay me minimum wage (maybe 50 cents more, if I'm lucky) to do physically mundane and repetitive work that is going to rot my brain and self esteem and I'm okay with that. I'll do it. I SAY YES. Just give me the shit money so I can make a living wage!

I was warned that maybe I am too qualified to work at various places, which behooves me. I am not looking for anything more than an exchange of labor for money. I don't think I can put it any simpler. I will work for money. Regardless of the many achievements I have made academically, artistically, or professionally, I need money. I would think given these achievements, one would realize how much time and effort I spent establishing goals and succeeding beyond them. This should give an impression of how dedicated I'd be working anywhere. But maybe it creates fear. Maybe when I outshine the average worker, it is known that I might be destined for something bigger than retail. Maybe that consummation is so real, even fake corporate speak is not enough to dismiss it. It's like an infection.

All I can hope for is for things to become a hell of a lot more stable. Everything else should fall right into place. My dreams and aspirations for greatness are not (nor could they ever be) forgotten, but they will need to be put on hold just long enough for me to master all the ways to say, "Would you like fries with that?" or "What size do you need?".

From the Lap of Lady G. to the Other Lady G.

Dear Lady GaGa,

I would like to take this opportunity to tell you that you have a song I actually like. You generally annoy me, but I find your new video "Love Game" fun to dance to. I just don't understand your lack of originality, your all-blondes-in-one image. You know, a little bit of Christina Aguilera (the hair/the videos), a little bit Gwen Stefani (the gold/referring to a beat as "sick"), and a little Madonna circa the Confessions album (the hooded high thigh leotard). But I guess most of all, what I don't understand is how you totally bit my style in that scene on the train.

Damn, grrrl.

I will forgive you, though. Because as an artist, I understand that you can not always be the most unique at a given time. I guess the only advice I have for you is to keep hustlin'. It seems to be working for you somehow.

Sincerely,
Lady G.

P.S. Take that damn blonde bow off your head. You look like a fool. OK, that's all.

Hearts Farts

I receive emails daily about events, news, and savings from various businesses I subscribe to so that I can somehow justify spending money as long as I get something for a ridiculous bargain. And then I love to brag about it. However, today, January 5, 2009, I already received an email exclaiming super duper savings for Valentine's Day! Yippee... I can get some sexy see-through crotchless panties for 25% off, a whole loving month before I ?need? them. Better jump on that.

Now, I understand that we're all getting a lot more desperate to save these days, but I hadn't even fully recovered from celebrating the new year before I was bombarded with the arrival of the next nationally recognized Hallmark holiday. Seriously, WHY? do we even bother anymore? What has made these holidays remarkably unique, sincere, or fulfilling? Isn't gift giving supposed to give you joy? At this point, it seems wherever you go, the inevitable reign of consumerism is all that surrounds you. Another reminder that you'll soon be obligated to buy a meaningless object for someone you probably resent or are trying to impress. You cannot buy love or acceptance. And it doesn't come in the form of chocolates, flowers, or dumb ass heart-holding teddy bears. Now, *diamonds* are another story, but I digress... When you work as hard for the money as we all do these days, isn't it enough to just have each other? Or, I don't know -- to MAKE something for someone else?

Enough already! Take a break from all the overspending by challenging the ever present marketing schemes that tell us "to buy is to love!" And PLEASE: Resist the urge to paint everything in garish and pukey pale shades of red and pink! It's not flattering.

An Open Letter to the Windy City

Dear Chicago,
I'm writing to you because I want you to know how I feel about you and I didn't think it would be appropriate to put it any other way. I thought about texting you, but there's too much to say, and I wanted you to comprehend my sincerity. I'd call you, but even though it's the weekend, my cellphone plan doesn't have the amount of minutes it would take to accurately describe what you've meant to me. Yes, it's that deep.
When I met you, I was on the cusp of a pivotal transition in my life. I was just about to complete my undergraduate academic career and I knew that I was ready to experience something outside of the comfort and security of my birthplace. You showed me a new world of opportunity and a place to advance myself personally and professionally. I remember thinking how incredible you were. You seemed to have everything. And I wanted everything.
Since we've been together, and having made a few trips back to North Miami Beach, FL (what they do), I've realized many things about our relationship. I put a lot of pressure on you. I've spent the past year trying to figure you out. Sometimes I wonder about your intentions, but I've enjoyed your company immensely and I have a lot of fun with you. We play around a lot, but I want you to know I'm serious about you. We've gone through so many things together, so many ups and downs. OMG, We're even going to see a hometown hero as President!
You're definitely different from anything I've ever experienced before and I'm trying to accept just who you are. I get frustrated sometimes when you don't understand me or where I'm coming from, but I'm appreciative that you give me the chance to express it anyway.
I'll be happy to see you again, even though you might be cold to me. I'm kind of looking forward to it... Actually, I'm really looking forward to it. I can't wait to hear you say you'll be with me another year. See you soon.

Yours Truly,
Anna G.

Cornered

I went to the Museum of Contemporary Art today (Target FREE Tuesdays-- whew!) and had the great opportunity to view one of my favorite artists' pieces. Adrian Piper, one of the most important artists and scholars in contemporary art and philosophy, created a video installation in the late 80s called "Cornered", which is a confrontation with the viewer about racial identity. Piper's video is a 16 minute monologue of her reciting her proclamation of being black. With a consistently calm and pleasant tone of voice, she expresses her point of view as identifying herself as black but also questions the viewer's reactions to her statement. Much of her performance refers to the viewer's personal responsibility and reaction to the realization of their black ancestry and racial identity. She challenges the viewer by injecting wonder about social reasoning for the acceptance or denial of the outcome of the question of their racial identity. She unloads many assumptions associated with identifying as black, and what that means to others or the public when it is announced.
The impact the work has in its physical space in the museum setting is immeasurable. The video is placed in the corner of the room and in front of a section of chairs, much like a small lecture group. In this setting, the audience has the opportunity to sit and reflect bold interrogations made by Piper, and are subject to her forceful assignment of self exploration. The environment in the museum makes the piece affective in many ways. The void of her physical presence restrains her subjects from engaging in discussion. Those who take an interest usually engage in quiet contemplation but are also visibly intrigued by the artist's accusations. The absence of the actual person or speaker also allows for uninterested or people made uncomfortable by her accusations to leave without disturbing the presenter. They, in turn, become part of the performance wherein Piper presupposes that there will be some people who are disturbed by her presentation or more so the reality of confronting their racial identity.
If you are able, I recommend going to the MCA to see this intriguing art piece. If not, here is a link to the video I found online: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6756190809617046211

moving day

Got my own studio (finally!) at the South Campus and it feels artgasmic. I did a little inaugural dance on the first day, and I'm just in awe of how far I've come. I have a lot of work to do, but I am happy with where I am.

This morning a fellow student was in an art rutt and I can remember how it was for me, and I'm sad for him. I wish I could use all the poetic words in the world to be able to lift him up out of his misery, but I know it's something all artists eventually have to go through, especially at the beginning of your academic career.

I have to write an artist's statement for the wall text of my show and it's a lot harder than it may seem.